I am Middle aged...
I am now 46 years old as of yesterday. This means a host of things.
1- My womb will slowly fall apart and hormones will start to flood my system till I kill an owl or shag a teenage boy.
2- I will start to wear jumpers with shiny sequins and appliqué butterflies.
3- I may buy a small fluffy dog and call it my ‘baby'.
4- My hair will get cut into a manageable bob so that when I take up hill walking it won't get bothersome.
5- I will start collecting miniature ballerina's made of porcelain and attend conventions where other old women talk about porcelain.
6- Water colour painting classes will fill my days and I will start visiting small towns to capture the features of the charming cobble stoned streets.
7- I will stop dyeing my grey hair and embrace my age, I will stop wearing a bra and let my moustache grow into a full on Magnum job!
So that's what I have to look forward to.
posted by: bronwynj (reply)
post date: 01.23.07 (10:15 pm)
1. Janey, do your twice daily pelvic floor exercises! I think it's not a flood of male hormones, as much as it is a diminishng of female hormones, so that the balance of male & female hormones adjusts, & we become less charming & more aggressive?!
2. - or you could hire yourself a good personal stylist?
3. - or a talking bird, I've thought about buying one of those...but will they have the same appeal once we become grandmothers?
4. Yes, I thought that once I become menopausal or turn 50 I might have my long hair cut into a bob - but my significant other likes my hair long.
5. I'm not really into collecting things...
6. Hey that sounds like fun, but I paint with acrylics, & I'd have to keep a travel blog & sell the paintings.
7. Never! Never succumb to ageing! No, no! Just go a shade lighter every few years, so when you die you're a blonde! Wearing a bra in public, & daily tweezing, is recommended.
Gosh Janey, you're only 46!