Me at 3am

So I caught the train to Aberdeen, I finally get to the wee bed and breakfast. My hands were so cold dragging my trolley case that fingers went blue and I could not even write my name in the register. Aberdeen is freezing. The gig was completely sold out and the crowd were well noisy, the first two acts went on and got some level of respect, but up the back the guys were chatting and heckling. I dealt with them fine and one guy shouted “Stop speaking you bitch” I was annoyed and answered “Is that you arguing with your gay lover?” The crowd let out a big laugh and then the guy replied “Actually Janey, I was telling those two women talking to shut up” That was ME shut up! I did apologise and the crowd laughed and I said “I am not used to people standing up for me!”. They were a really nice bunch, so I finished the gig and walked home in the near 2 below zero frost taking my breath from my body. My lips are sore as I had to go back to the dentist this morning at 9am as the impression he took to get my veneers made went wrong and that blue sticky stuff tears the skin from my lips…all my fault I suppose for giving the dentist a ‘bad impression’….BOOM BOOM! So here I am in the wee room. The bed and breakfast kindly gave me the smallest room; I asked “Do you have a smaller room than this?” “No…that’s the smallest one we have” the lady answered. “I thought so” I smiled. It really is small and narrow and get this- there is three sets of lights in here with three different light switches! I mean for fucksake, you strike a match in here and the place is illuminated! So I am awake as I have a five am cab ride to Dyce Airport in Aberdeen as I am the Tricia Goddard chat show tomorrow on national TV, they have a one off special dealing with abuse survivors who are making the best of life….well I don’t know if that is true about me, but I am sure talking about the book and comedy will be fun regardless of my abuse status. Chat to you all in London…