Don’t say Fuck to the public
Read in the newspapers today that TV Hypnotist Paul McKenna has been ‘training’ Scottish hotel staff to ‘be friendlier’ to their paying public, as we Scots are known for our ‘shit service’.
Can you believe that we need a hypnotist to teach us to be nice to people who are using our services?
I do…though I cant imagine how Paul McKenna would have treated my old staff back in that Pub in the East End of Glasgow, no amount of eye staring and positive thinking would have stopped my boys from pissing in your pint if you annoyed them!
They did some nasty things to the evil annoying customers that irritated us…one old customer was a big fat bloated wife beating bastard, who used to stand at the end of the bar and shout orders to us like we were fucked up mental patients, he particularly hated me as I always answered him back.
Some men in that pub HATED any woman who answered back; it was the kinda place that if a woman didn’t wear an underskirt she was eligible for electric shock treatment!
Anyway this fat dude called Albert, put his wife down in front of people, he berated my staff and thought he owned the place.
To show off he used to demand a pot of tea in the middle of a busy service, he was never charged for it as he was a regular, but I know a barman who used to skip to the toilet and squeeze his teabag in the TOILET BOWL, then bring it into the kitchen and make up his pot of tea for him….!!!
Mind you that probably is just a joke!
I am sure Albert’s tea was perfect and no one got a pissed pint.
Seriously though-Scottish service can be dodgy; we still haven’t quite gripped pleasing the public yet. I go up North regularly and stop off at different wee tea/lunch places and am often appalled at the food and service. The amount of café’s or tearooms that I have visited in the countryside and been offered ‘Taste’s like Milk’ portions with my coffee is awful. I mean we are IN THE COUNTRYSIDE …how many cows surround us? Is it so hard to get fresh milk there?
On the flipside when we do come across a good place it is awesome and very well done, one of my favourites is the
Another good place is between St.Andrew’s and
On another note…
Am all set for
Can you believe it? I am going to the world’s best festival to perform and do something I love EVERY NIGHT…life does not get better.
Mind you I am not buying a pot of tea from ANYONE even if Paul McKenna has trained them first.